The Shadowbox Caper
by SpyVsTailor
Summary: Private Investigator Edward Nygma finds himself with a case involving a missing heiress, a creepy message left at a local history museum and a missing piece of Gotham City history. Not only is he set to come up against a very ancient evil, but he finds Selina Kyle tagging along as well. Set after the events in Gotham City Sirens #10, wherein Eddie is still trying to be a good boy.
1. Chapter 1

**Review or don't. Just enjoy!**

 **(Also, this is my first attempt at an actual mystery type mystery story...so give me a break. Mysteries are freaking hard to write!)**

* * *

 **The Shadowbox Caper**

 **Prologue**

If they were careful they could get it done in time for the next tour group.

They had to be precise, quick, but as gentle as a soapstone sculptor. For truly, it was a great work of art they were in the midst of creating. Everything would be perfect and chaos would swirl and mingle together to create the finest piece that Gotham City had ever seen.

Just a little more time was needed, but already they could hear the sound of the footsteps falling, echoing like metallic ticking of some damned clock.

"We are now entering the Judge Rita Bayer Wing of the Museum, where all the historical artifacts relevant only to Gotham City are kept," the tour guide said, her voice warbling across the glass cases of the historical museum like the sounds of the dead coming through an old gramophone.

Just a few more seconds and the message would be made clear.

"Now, this is one of my personal favourite wing's in the museum as it houses, not only the parchment of the very first land purchase made for the hamlet of Old Gotham, but it also has one of the most enduring and quirky oddities. We're very lucky to have such a treasure housed here."

There was so much blood, it made the task at hand sticky and slick, but it was the only way to be heard.

Blood spoke louder than a mere voice.

"As you can see, due to a very generous donation from Judge Bayer's daughter Miss Mae Bayer, all the items within this wing are well protected and subject to very thorough around the clock protection." The woman went on, drawing nearer.

Stepping back from the work of art, over the dead body of a guard, they surveyed their work one final time, before fleeing on quiet, shadow-like feet into the dim expanse of the museum.

"Now, this is my favourite piece in the wing, the mummified hand of one of the inhabitants of the Dutch settlement, the only trace of a body that was found after a mysterious disappearing act by the rest of the settlers. The hand is believed to have belonged to Mrs. Van Der Hout, the midwife of the settlement. Some claimed she was a white witch who could only be felled by dark magic. Not much is known of what happened to the rest of the settlers—"

A scream from her group, had the guide turning on the exhibit they were approaching so fast her glasses flew from her face and clattered into a puddled of what looked like dark—

Oh God.

It was blood.

As she absently retrieved her glasses, too in shock to think about crime scenes or contamination, she slipped them on and peered up at the shadowbox which should have held the withered, mummified hand which clutched a bouquet of dried periwinkle, there was only a mangled and bloody fresh hand holding a dagger.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Sitting at his desk, Edward Nygma, somewhat reformed genius rogue, and all around mess of a human being, sat studying his trembling hands and trying in vain to will them with his mind to stop.

The trembling had begun after the incident with Aesop.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, it wasn't like he had never been in a cage, strung up by a madman.

That was a typical Friday night for him.

No. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but whatever it was, it wasn't physical.

 _It's in your head, Edward. Because you're not right, you never were. You are a broken human with a weak will and you will succumb in the end._

Finishing the last of the Scotch in his little tumbler, he jabbed at the call button on his desk.

"Sophia?" He inquired in a drink roughened tone, too many late nights fueled by coffee, too many early mornings scowling at the rising sun on his way to the office.

"Yes, Mr. Nygma?"

"Did you pick up my prescription at lunch as I asked?"

"Yes, sir."

"I could use them, please."

Presently his curvaceous young secretary popped into the office with his bag of pills and a cheery smile.

"Here you are, sir," she chirped.

Waving his hand in a beckoning manner for her to dispense his pills, he poured himself another round of Scotch.

Sophia handed him his afternoon dose with sombre dark eyes as he held up his tumbler, prepared to down his meds with it.

"Should you really be taking those with—"

He silenced her with a simple look, popping the pills back and downing them with a wash of Scotch.

The girl was awfully young and had no secretarial experience when she came to him after his last one left due to – well – due to being a little tied up with whatever Pamela had secured her with. It had caused a rash that turned nasty fast and it scared the last one off.

Sophia, however, seemed to be made of a little sturdier stuff.

"New skirt?" He inquired as she moved about his office, tidying things here and there, filing paperwork he couldn't be bothered to file.

"Yes," she exclaimed proudly, spinning to show it off to him. "Do you like it?"

"I wouldn't know, the yellow colour is blinding me."

"Don't be mean just because you're a victim of fashion, sir," she returned sharply, heading for the doorway.

"Don't you have a job to do?" He growled.

"Lay off the Scotch," she sing-songed on her way out.

"Lay off the yellow," he called after her.

Still, he tucked his bottle away, downing the last tumbler he'd have for the day and returning to eyeing his shaking hands.

God, he really needed a case. Something that would stretch his brilliant mind, give it a good run for its money. It had been weeks.

Weeks and he was left high and dry like Noah's Ark left up on that mountaintop after the great flood.

 _Just leave. Go back to how it was. Fit back into that hole, you square peg. You're not this man. You're not this creature._

Inhaling deeply, he thrust his trembling hands through his hair and ruffled it, the movement bumping his mouse and kicking his computer back into life from its sleeping state.

He had to find something to do, to keep this urge tamped down. He would be the better man, he had to be. Edward Nygma was stronger than this.

Clicking around on the internet, he made his way to the Gotham Now website and checked on the recent events, small things that The Bat would have no time to take care of.

 **Judge Bayer's Daughter Missing: Slaughtered Security Guard and Ominous Warning**

The headline caught his attention and he clicked on the article.

 _ **Judge Bayer's Daughter Missing: Slaughtered Security Guard and Ominous Warning**_

 _Gotham City Historical Society was shocked Tuesday morning during a guided tour, when the deceased body of an unnamed security guard was found under the vandalized case of the hand of Mrs. Van Der Hout, one of the museum's most prized possessions. While considered unrelated by the Gotham City Police Department, the museum's benefactor Judge Rita Bayer's daughter, the wealthy heiress Mae Bayer, has gone missing with no word yet. Suspicious circumstances surrounding the vandalizing of the case has led reports to believe the two cases may be connected, but no confirmation yet from the GCPD._

Edward pushed back from his desk and moved to his window.

That sounded interesting, but he had to be careful, GCPD didn't really like ex-cons solving their cases and making them look like the buffoons they were. He didn't need to be harassed by them on top of everything else.

But the case was curious and that crummy report made by some blog monkey left a lot to the imagination.

"Mr. Nygma?" His call box buzzed. "Selina Kyle here to see you."

Edward's heart froze in his chest and he immediately tensed.

She was the last person he wanted to see right now.

The last time he saw her, her and those other femme fatales had used him as bait. They had played on his soft spot for the lot of them.

Well. Maybe not Pamela. She could get root rot for all he cared.

Moving to his desk, he hesitated, before touching a shaking finger to the button.

"I can't see her right now, Sophia, I have a case," he said.

The box was silent for a moment, before Selina's seductive purr came through.

"Too busy for me, Eddie?" She asked.

He eyed the call box.

The woman was already entering his office by the time he thought of a convincing lie and he tensed up, steeling himself for her, hardening his already battered spirit.

She looked so effortlessly beautiful in a grey knitted oversized sweater and black leggings tucked into leather boots. Her hair had grown a little longer since last he saw it and she had it bobbed in an old flapper style.

"Avoiding me?" She asked softly, taking a seat across his desk from him.

He hid his shaking hands by crossing his arms against his chest. "What do you want, Selina?"

If his hard tone hurt her, she didn't show it, only blinked at him. "I came for a visit."

He scoffed. "Somehow I don't believe you just walked here for a chat."

"You look like hell, Eddie."

"Contrary to what you believe," he began roughly, knowing full well how he looked. It had been a couple of days since he had the energy to shave. "I am quite busy, Selina. Please, get to your point."

"You're still mad?" She asked.

"About what?" He inquired. "I could care less how you and your friend's treat me, Selina. I'm a grown man, my feelings remain intact."

"Eddie, you know we wouldn't have let anything happen to you," she said. "Despite what you think, Harley and I kind of like you."

"Kind of," he replied. "It's fine, Selina. You can clear your conscience. I absolve you of your sins, if that's what you're seeking here."

Reaching across his desk, she picked up his tumbler and sniffed it.

Edward scowled deeper.

"No one's seen or heard from you in months," she said, putting his tumbler back. "I'm just here to check on you."

"Look at me," he returned, pushing to his feet. "I'm still alive."

Grabbing his fedora from the hook by his door, he pulled it on low over his eyes and said, "you can tell everyone that I'm not dead yet."

At the door he practically collapsed on a small, fierce eyed woman, who stood before a flurried looking Sophia with a look of utter determination.

"You are Edward Nygma, are you not?" The woman demanded, her hard grey eyes looking him up and down.

"Depends on who's asking," he returned, quirking his brow at this austere woman who dared barge into his office.

"I'm Rita Bayer," the woman said. " _Judge_ Rita Bayer."

Raising his eyes to Sophia, he tilted his head to wordlessly tell her it was fine.

"What can I do for you, Judge Bayer?" He asked, moving back to his desk, ignoring the fact that Selina had moved during his interaction with the woman to perch on the corner of his desktop. "Please, take a seat." He motioned the woman to sit as he took his own seat behind his desk once more.

The woman refused with a shake of her head. "I'm told you're the best private detective in Gotham City. Despite your sordid past," she added with a slight sneer.

"I…suppose," he replied cautiously. "But we're heavily encouraged to call ourselves private _investigators_ now. Red tape laws, you understand."

The woman sniffed. "My daughter is missing."

"So I've heard."

"I will pay you to find her and return her to me safely."

Edward glanced over at Selina, wondering why she was lingering. No one had said anything, so he figured if Judge Bayer didn't care, he didn't.

"I don't know, Your Honour," he stated, easing back in his chair and setting his legs up on his desk. "I have quite a few cases going right now."

"One hundred thousand for her safe return, plus an additional fifty thousand if you can keep the press from making a mess of this whole affair." The woman stated.

Touching a hand to his tie and smoothing it down to keep it from curling at those numbers, Edward dropped his legs again and leaned in across his desk. "You have no faith in the GCPD?"

"I'm willing to do anything to get my only child back," the Judge said. "They are dragging their heels too much for my liking."

"Okay, Your Honour, you have my attention. Tell me everything."

At this point the woman finally acknowledged Selina, eyes darting to her.

After an awkward moment of silence where no one said anything, Edward sighed as Selina smiled a little and adjusted her position on the desk.

"She's my associate," he explained, knowing it would be harder to get rid of a stubborn Selina Kyle then explain her persistent presence. "Anything you tell us, will remain confidential throughout the case. I have a legal form we can sign if it worries you."

"It's a very delicate matter, I'm afraid," the woman said, her iron will suddenly rusting a little.

"Tell us everything from the beginning," Selina said gently, in a tone almost foreign to her.

Edward frowned, but said nothing, eyes on the Judge.

"Mae had problems," the Judge began, suddenly eyes on her hands clasped in her lap. "She was my little girl and…I did my best, but I was a single mother working to make ends meet in the early days. She wasn't an evil girl, you must understand, but…"

"She was a thief," Selina said.

Edward quirked a brow at this as the Judge raised her head and eyed Selina sharply.

"I know things," Selina said with a shrug.

"It wasn't just the petty theft," Judge Bayer spat angrily. "She was just bad! She rebelled against everything. If I said it was day, she'd say it was night. In high school she fell in with the wrong group of girls…I thought private schools sieved out the public chafe. But, if there was wickedness, Mae would find it and she did. Cocaine, alcohol, men, women, she didn't care one bit for her reputation! And there I was, trying to keep my job on the bench, cleaning up behind her. And then two years ago she dragged home this…I guess you could call him a man, named Bo…Bo Hendrickson. She called him Bo-Rude. I'm sure he was a drug dealer or a pimp or something sleazy. He had that stink about him."

"Mae still lived at home?" Edward asked.

The Judge nodded. "I didn't mind. I love my little girl, I do. And when she isn't being a wicked girl, we get along well and the company is pleasant. I just wished she would keep her riff raff out of my home."

"Tell us about the disappearance," Selina urged, still using that gentle tone of hers.

"Three days ago I noticed Mae's car in our garage, but when I searched our home I couldn't find her. I didn't think much of it then, she could have gotten a ride from one of her friends or…sometimes she jogs along the bay. After what happened at the museum yesterday," the woman paused and suddenly a choked sob escaped her and she dropped her head.

Selina slipped off the desk and approached her, kneeling by the woman's side and taking her hands.

"I thought…maybe they had Mae."

"Who's they?" Edward asked.

"The ones who left the message at the museum, that…hand."

"A hand?" Selina asked.

"Maybe you should tell us about this incident at the museum too," Edward said. "I heard speculation that it could be related to your daughter's disappearance."

Judge Bayer bit her bottom lip hard. "My daughter was a patron of the museum, I have no real knowledge about the incident there. I'm not the curator. I only know that the incident occurred in my wing and I know it was a message for me. The GCPD said they were looking in to it."

"Even for a Judge like you?" Edward asked.

Judge Bayer frowned a little. "I indicted a few of their ranks last year for helping themselves to the evidence lock up. Let's just say the GCPD isn't really fond of me at the moment."

"An honest Judge locking up crooked cops," Selina mused. "This case just keeps getting better and better."

Edward shot her a warning look. She was most definitely not going to get too invested in this case.

"I worked hard to get where I am," the woman said. "I fought sexism and corruption and I won't uphold the unspoken rule of 'the boys club'."

"Commendable," Edward said. "But one thing is left unanswered by you."

"Which is?" The Judge demanded.

"Where is Mae's father?"

The woman scowled. "I don't see how—"

"Just humour me," he broke in. "Every little bit helps."

"He was never in the picture."

"And his name?"

"It doesn't matter," the woman growled, seemingly growing agitated. "He got me pregnant, he probably doesn't even know he has a nineteen year old daughter."

"Time matters in a case like this," Edward stated firmly. "Tell me now or I'll have to waste precious hours finding out on my own."

"I was young," the Judge said.

"You're what? Forty now? Fifty?" Selina asked.

 _How old are you, Edward? Too old to be playing nice. You're not made for being the good guy._

Sighing, Edward touched a finger to his temple and rubbed it hard.

"Forty." The woman sighed. "I met him in law school."

"His name, Your Honour," Edward insisted.

"Temple Fugate," she stated, raising her chin and levelling him with a stony, challenging gaze.

Edward managed to keep a straight face, but he couldn't resist saying, "time really is of the utmost importance here. Isn't it?"

The Judge must have known exactly what he meant as she actually flushed. "Well…we all make mistakes."

"But you got a daughter out of it," Selina said.

Sweeping to his feet, Edward beamed. "We'll be in contact when this case is solved, Your Honour." He assured her.

"That's it?" The Judge asked.

"That's all I need. I may want to look around your daughter's room, if possible, maybe see if I can find some clues at your home?"

"That will be fine," the Judge said. "And I'd like you to sign that confidentiality agreement, if possible."

"Of course," Edward said, leading the woman to the door and out into his waiting room to finish up with the Judge. He'd return to admonish Selina afterwards, give Catwoman the official heave-ho from his case.

"Both of you," the Judge added sternly.

Frowning, Edward turned to Selina who smiled serenely and accompanied them.

"You're not helping out," he growled lowly to her as she passed him.

"We'll see," she murmured.


	2. Chapter 2

**Make fun of me all you want, you jaded tumblr post about fanfic cliches, I'm still gonna reply to reviewers here in the author's notes because it's the polite, less creepy thing to do. They put a lot of work into replying and therefore deserve acknowledgement and respect. That being said...**

 **Guest 1 -** Thank you for your review!

 **Guest 2 -** Mysteries are so hard to write and writing a good one with a genuine twist ending is the worst. I'll probably disappoint so many with this one, but as it's my first I'm sure you'll all forgive me.

 **Guest 3 -** Thank you! It means so much to me to hear that my Eddie is your favourite. I hope I continue the fine tradition for you in this story.

 **The 24th Reader -** I have a definite plan for Jonny to fit into the story, but Garfield is gonna take a little thought...still I've decided I need Firefly in all of my Batman stories...I enjoyed writing him so much.

 **Little Biscuit -** Okay, here's where my claims that I don't read stories in fandoms I write can come in use, I claim total ignorance to the fact that you have a Sophie in your story. I only used the name Sophia because for some reason while writing Eddie's secretary I got the image of America Ferrara in my head for her and Sophia is a popular Latina name according to Google. I ran with the idea.

 **laal ratty -** I know, I love Detective Eddie! (And same for me on the shipping thing, I'm very picky about my ships...)

 **Jen Rock -** What the comics should have done was have Eddie have his own mini series where he just solves crimes a la those old Raymond Chandler novels. I would have read the hell out of that series.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Watching the Judge as she walked out of his office, Edward frowned, his mind already combing over the information she had provided, filling in the blanks of what she left unsaid with a million scenarios.

Selina bumped and rolled her generous hips past him, her serene face a little smug.

"You're not staying," he growled lowly.

"But I signed the confidentiality waiver, Eddie," she returned casually, pausing at the door to his inner office.

He opened his mouth to rebuff her, but she cut him off, raising a hand to eye her nails casually.

"Of course, if you want to get into the head space of a teenage girl just on the cusp of being an independent woman with a drug dealing boyfriend named Bo-Rude…"

As she paraded past him again, he glowered darkly at Sophia, as though it were all the Latina's fault.

The young woman shrugged and began to look busy with random paperwork on her desk.

The prospect of digging deep into the Hello Kitty world of a girl child didn't thrill him much, so he sighed and whipped his fedora off to rake a gloved hand through his hair in frustration. "Fine," he whimpered, "but you aren't getting paid."

Selina stopped again in the doorway and turned to him, her mouth tugging up at the corners in a cat-like grin. "Oh, you'll pay me, Eddie," she purred, heading back for his inner office, dragging her hand across his chest on her way past, tugging lightly at his tie. "And I'm worth every penny."

Again he glared at Sophia, who still looked busy, but he could have sworn there was a glint of amusement in her eyes, before resigning himself to the fact that he'd at least walk away with 75 grand and following Selina into his office, where he closed the door behind them.

She had already taken residence on his desk, perched like an angel with hellfire in her eyes.

"You know there's something that Judge is withholding from us, right?" She began.

"They always do. Probably some weird sexual thing, it's always the kinks they hide."

Selina bit her bottom lip. "No…I didn't get that vibe. A woman that desperate to get her daughter back wouldn't withhold something sexual, we can be pretty liberated when we get desperate."

"Despite what female advocacy groups would lead you to believe, my dear, you are not legion."

Selina merely smirked. "So? Where do we start?"

"Are you really this bored that you're willing to waste a week or two on this with me?" He demanded, folding his arms.

She swung her legs idly and shrugged. "Call it a trust exercise."

"Call it what you want," he growled. "I'm going to check out the museum first. See what that's all about."

She slipped off his desk. "How are you going to get past the cops…you know that place will still be—"

"Selina, my dear, you're not afraid of the GCPD, are you?"

"Not at all," she returned archly. "I was hoping for some cheap entertainment today."

 **~#~**

* * *

 **~#~**

They marched right into the museum through the front, Selina's heels clacking on the marble floor, Edward holding the door for her.

"Sorry," the cop at the entrance began, "the museum is—"

"Frank Yates," Edward greeted. "High End Security. We're here to do a follow up."

The young police officer hesitated, eyeing Selina just as she took a sip from her coffee cup. She spilled a little of her latte down into the unbuttoned wasteland of her shirt, the taupe liquid drizzling down between her breasts.

She made a show of sliding her finger inside her shirt and wiping it upwards, getting the errant liquid, sticking it into her mouth with a coy, sheepish grin and a soft 'oops'.

Edward patiently allowed her to work, eyeing the museum as she did so.

"Sorry," the cop said after a moment. "Uh…look, I'll walk you to the back, I'm sure the curator was expecting you."

"Thank you," Selina chirped sweetly.

As they followed the young cop, Edward kept his eyes on the museum around them, hoping to catch a glimpse of the wing they needed.

"Ms. Reeves?" The cop addressed a woman who was standing about in a corridor with an older cop and what looked like a member of the maintenance team.

The woman turned to them. "Yes?"

"These two are from the security system place, said they—"

"Frank Yates," Edward interrupted smoothly, holding out his hand, a business card at the ready. "High End Security. This is my trainee associate, Danielle Thomas."

The woman frowned. "Your people were already—"

"We're here to do a series of follow up questions," Selina broke in. "It's standard in the event of a system that was rigged to not go off, helps us improve our systems for future clients." She adjusted Edward's reading glasses that she had snatched for her disguise and said, "do you have a moment?"

The woman hesitated, before nodding and stepping away from the men. "Come with me to my office, we can discuss this there."

"We need to see the point of cut off firstly," Selina stated. "Again, it's to better our service for you."

"Of course, we don't have access to the crime scene yet, but I can show you where the wire's were cut."

Selina beamed. "Thank you. Oh!" She stopped short in their journey. "Sorry, too much latte. Where is your restroom?"

Edward fought to shake his head. It was a corny, overused tactic, but had to admire how genuine she played her part.

"Just through that door, you can use the staff toilets," Ms. Reeves said.

As Selina scurried off. Edward moved in for the kill.

"We are deeply sorry for the incident, Ms. Reeves," he said in his best, charming manner. Using his fine tenor to elicit comfort and kindness from his cold, frozen heart.

The woman smiled meekly. "Derek had three kids," she said softly. "We're all shaken up."

"I'd imagine his family is feeling his loss sincerely," he whispered, laying it on thick.

Ms. Reeves, the pretty petite auburn haired woman, looked like a Greek tragedy. "Do you have family, Mr. Yates?"

"No," he said. "My wife and I got divorced two year's ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, a loss through divorce is not half as bad as loss by homicide."

She nodded.

"And thankfully," he went on, using his words like a knife to cut away at her defences, "my wife and I had our chance to say goodbye to our daughter, at least. This was sudden."

Ms. Reeves looked at him with a human compassion Edward found so intriguing when he saw it aimed at him. "I'm so sorry."

Edward forced a smile and said, "I'm afraid I'm being completely unprofessional right now!" He exclaimed. "Never mind, my tragedy…was Derek a good guard?"

"He was," Ms. Reeves said. "Very helpful and he made you feel safe."

"And to be murdered in the way he was," Edward went on, shaking his head.

"There was so much blood," the woman said, adding shyly, "I threw up."

"I imagine you must be suffering lack of sleep," he stated.

She nodded. "But again, I'm not really the victim."

"And for what?" Edward went on. "A silly gang prank."

"Gang prank?" The woman asked.

"Sure, a lot of gang initiations are completely inhumane and nonsensical. The worse the crime, the more gang rep you get."

Ms. Reeves frowned and shook her head. "I can't see anyone doing something like this. It was…almost like something you'd see…" she stopped short and flushed prettily. "I'm sorry, they said I can't talk about the crime with anyone."

"Oh, of course!" Edward exclaimed. "I'm sorry! You'll probably call my superior about my unprofessional behaviour."

She smiled. "I wouldn't."

The dead kid story always won over sappy hearts, made people more likely to trust him. "How safe are you at home, Ms. Reeves?" He asked sincerely.

"Not as safe as I'd like lately," she replied. "Especially at night with no one around to keep me safe," she added in a low, almost husky tone.

Edward almost physically recoiled.

Jesus this woman. There was a figurative corpse between them and she was hitting on him.

He could almost admire that.

The clacking of Selina's heels broke their little weird moment up and Edward returned his face to the professional mask, smiling only slightly roguishly at Ms. Reeves and saying, "well, you have my personal number if you have any concerns."

 **~#~**

* * *

 **~#~**

They both slumped into Edward's Buick, Selina huffing a little.

"Well?"

"You know," she began simply. "Fort Knox isn't that tightly guarded. So I never understood why people say something is 'locked up tighter than Fort Knox'."

"Okay," he said, putting his car into drive. "So how about this relevant case we're on right now?"

"The wing is locked up tighter than a place more impenetrable than Fort Knox," she stated with a smirk.

"Okay, we'll come back later tonight then," he said. "Thankfully, I have the foremost expert on security systems riding shotgun with me."

Selina was quiet and he had to actually glance over at her at a red light.

Deep in thought, the woman looked amazing. Like an Art Nouveau painting of a vamp, or a sultry version of Louise Brooks in all her bobbed glory. Her skin was flawless, smooth like white chocolate, her mouth plump and perfectly pink, looking like if he tasted her lips they would bear the flavour of strawberries. And her eyes were painted with a dusky smudging that gave them drama.

It wasn't the first time he had been struck by her beauty, but it was certainly the most inopportune time.

Behind him a car honked and broke his reverie as the light had changed to green and he was caught gazing at Selina Kyle with an uncharacteristic languor that angered him a little.

She sighed as they drove and said softly, "you know I respect you, Eddie."

"If you really respected me, you'd call me Edward," he murmured sullenly.

They were quiet for a few blocks, before she spoke again. "I would have never let Aesop kill you, Edward."

"It doesn't matter," he replied with a weariness that spoke of nights where his inner conflict came dangerously close to the 'just give up' side winning. Those nights had been more and more frequent lately, those urges more and more on the winning side.

"It does," she said. "You're a friend."

He almost slammed his Buick into a car at the next intersection, practically running a red light in shock at her words.

Edward took that moment to look over at her, searching her eyes for a sign that she was lying or joking.

She stared back at him sombrely.

Somewhere in Gotham a police siren wailed and Edward looked away from the woman beside him, eyeing the red light, before dropping his gaze to the street before him.

 _No one cares about you, Edward. Just go back to being easy to hate, go back to what feels right to you. That could be you the siren wails for._

"I care about you, Ed," Selina stated gently.

He scoffed as the light turned green and he put his car into drive once more. "I'm a grown man, Selina dear, I don't need anyone to care about me."

"That's too bad for you then," she shot back easily. "Because I do."

 **~#~**

* * *

 **~#~**

They pulled up to the Judge's mansion and stopped at the call box at the gate.

"Yes?"

"Edward Nygma," he introduced. "I'm here to look at Mae's bedroom?"

"Oh yes, I'll buzz you in."

As the gate began to open, he looked over at Selina.

"If she was taken by someone she didn't know, it wouldn't be from home," she said. "Unless they jumped the wall or got in through the gate somehow."

He smiled a little, proud that she seemed to know what she was doing. "So, either someone she knew abducted her from here or someone she didn't know took her from somewhere else or someone she knew took her from somewhere else or she just went to Vegas for the weekend?" He suggested.

"Or she did what any privileged teen would do and ran off to elope with a boyfriend her mother didn't approve of," Selina countered.

"No," he argued as they drove up the long driveway. "If her and her mother were truly close, I can't see Mae doing that."

"You don't know how strong young love can be," his temporary partner pointed out.

He glanced over at her.

"What?" She demanded with a small grin. "You were never in love as a teen?"

Edward frowned and gripped the steering wheel tightly as he came to a stop before the house.

"I almost want to kiss you," Selina murmured.

He quirked a brow at that, but she was already getting out of the vehicle and leaving him behind.

Removing his hands from the steering wheel, he stared at the trembling limbs, before following Selina out of the car and towards the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

**The 24th Reader** \- Sometimes geniuses are idiots at simple things...like reading social signs or emotions.

 **DittyWrites** \- I know how you feel. I suck at reviews too.

 **LittleGreyOwl** \- Law abiding Eddie is a suspicious Eddie. ^_^

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

"I'm sorry," the Judge said as they stepped into the enormous foyer of her mini mansion, "I'm in a meeting right now, you'll have to go up yourselves and look around."

Watching as the harried woman rushed back into one room out what seemed like a million, Edward frowned.

"Do we just mind read until we find the right room then?" He mumbled sullenly to the woman's shadow.

"What?" Selina challenged him. "Like you're afraid of trespassing all of a sudden?"

"Unlike some, my dear, I was never the thief."

"No," she returned heading up the stairs, "but you are the bolder of us two."

As they reached the top of the stairs, Edward looked down first one and then the other of the branching hallways. "I must admit, my dear, I wouldn't know which room would be hers in a house of just two women and thirty florally appointed bedrooms."

Selina smirked. "Have you ever spent any time with a teenage girl, Ed?"

"Not even when I was a teenager," he murmured, opening the first door they came across. Finding it was more porcelain throne and less fluffy, frilly bed, he turned back to his companion with a grim smile. "I'm afraid women are beyond even my great understanding."

"Even me, Eddie?"

"Especially you," he growled, peering into yet another room. Finding a red silk blouse draped over a beautiful old Queen Anne style wing back chair, he pushed the door open a little further. "Mother's room?"

Selina stepped inside boldly. "I would say so…"

"We should be professional, perhaps?" He suggested, more as a professional courtesy than out of respect for the Judge.

Glancing over her shoulder as she made her way deeper into the room, Selina said, "you stay out in the hall then. Keep a look out."

Glancing about, he followed her into the room and closed the door behind him.

Selina paused by the blouse and ran her fingers over it.

"Mmmm how the other half lives," she purred.

Thumbing through a tasteless romance novel on the bedside table, Edward quirked a brow and replied, "I'm sure you have at least five of those blouses, my dear."

"I don't have five…" she grumbled moving towards the vanity.

He set the book down at a shocking butter and kitchen island scene and turned towards her.

"I have six," she returned picking up a pair of earrings and holding them up to her ears. "But you must have one in every colour."

He crossed the room towards her.

"And sometimes I like to wear the white one and nothing else to bed," she teased.

"And drape yourself in pearls and gold," he replied archly, grabbing the earrings from her and tossing them back onto the vanity. "Let's get back to work, shall we?"

"And nothing else, Eddie," she repeated.

"I heard you the first time," he returned, moving to the laptop that sat on a chest at the end of the bed. Picking it up, he settled on the chest lid and opened it.

"Do you know what silk does to a woman's body, Ed?"

"I would imagine it clothes it, my dear," he muttered.

Flopping onto the bed on her stomach, Selina peered around him at the laptop. "It's no use, it'll be locked."

He turned so she could see the screen better. It wasn't locked. "The Judge is an older woman, Selina. They can't be bothered to remember passwords."

"She's also a rich woman," Selina said, picking up the romance novel with her feet and flinging it up towards her head. "I bet she has ten laptops scattered across this place."

"I would think so. This one has mostly shopping sites bookmarked."

"Did she buy anything good?" Selina asked from the other side of the romance novel's cover.

"Shoes, a few movies, some books, a…riding crop? The Judge doesn't strike me as the equestrian type…"

"Adult content, Eddie."

Edward flushed only slightly as the next page in the Judge's history list was a corset. "Ah, yes…right."

Something struck him then and he angled his head. "Does the Judge have a man in her life?"

"Or a woman?" Selina suggested, still perusing the content of the book.

Eddie followed the next link in the history window and came up with another corset, a pair of thigh high leather boots and – "what are those?"

Selina closed the book, marking her place with her finger and draped over his shoulder to peer down at the screen.

"Nipple clamps," she purred. "They're good quality." As he offered her a curious frown, she added quickly, "I have that set."

Edward quirked a brow at her, angling his face to hers, his nose nearly bumping her nose.

"They're not for me," she added with a cat-like grin.

Hovering over the mousepad, Edward's near constantly shaking hand stilled as he held her gaze.

Selina withdrew with shining eyes and got up from the bed, setting the book back on the bedside table and moving to the walk-in closet.

Running his tongue over one of his back molar's, Edward closed the laptop and set it back where he found it, moving to the master bathroom.

The Judge didn't have anything stronger than Aspirin in her medicine cabinet, so he moved on, back out into the bedroom, where Selina was found emerging from the closet.

"Anything?" He asked her.

"She has more shoes than Imelda Marcos," she retorted. "But nothing."

He motioned them back out into the hallway and Selina immediately veered right, heading back for the stairs and the opposite hall.

"There are more rooms," he pointed out.

"Eddie, she's a teenage girl, she'll want a room as far from her mother's as humanly possible," Selina shot back. "What would you do without me?" She teased as he caught up.

"Probably feel a little safer," he muttered.

"This door," Selina said, motioning to one at the very end of the hall.

As she opened it boldly, they stepped into a world of—

"Dolls," Edward declared in mild surprise.

Even Selina looked perplexed at the massive number of porcelain dolls that lined the walls on white shelves, all staring down at them with dead, glassy eyes.

The room itself was shockingly girly for a teenager who seemed more interested in dating a man named Bo-Rude and going to clubs every night of the week.

"Are we sure she's not Wesker's kid?" Selina demanded, pulling a doll off the shelf and poking at her curls with a finger.

"I'm not so sure either woman in this household is stable," Edward returned, moving across the soft white throw rug, heading for a desktop computer tucked into the corner by a large bay window.

Selina scoffed, "Eddie, just because a woman likes to assert her womanly dominance in the bedroom, doesn't mean she's unstable. If anything, the Judge is healthier than most."

"I was talking about the shoe collection," he stated with a proud glint in his eye.

The dark haired woman behind him smiled mysteriously and set the doll back on the shelf.

"Besides, could you imagine someone having sex with Wesker?" Edward demanded as he flicked the mouse and woke the computer up.

"I don't want to," Selina shot back, dropping to the floor and shoving her hand under the bed. "I'm even dubious about someone sleeping with Fugate," she added.

"He was younger then."

"Weren't we all?" Pulling out an old sweater and an MP3 player, Selina turned to Edward. "I bet you were a real cutie when you were younger, Ed."

"I was scrawny and pale," he returned.

"No, I bet Jonny was scrawny and pale, you were…well dressed and…freckled?"

"I'm still well dressed, my dear," he murmured, distracted by going through Mae's internet browser history. "And those freckles have faded."

"No, you dress like a science teacher," she argued. "And the freckles are most definitely still there."

Ignoring that last comment, Edward tried to open Mae's email, hoping it wasn't signed out.

"Hey," she said.

He glanced back at her as she pulled a cell phone from the pocket of the sweater.

"No one leaves their cell phone behind," Selina remarked, tossing it to him.

He wasn't expecting it to be flung at him and it hit him in the chest.

Edward held his hands out in disbelief, prompting Selina to chuckle.

"Sorry, I forgot you spent your high school years playing chess instead of football." She stated.

Scooping the phone up off the floor, Edward scowled at it.

"Swipe your thumb across the screen," Selina pointed out, draping herself around his shoulders in order to peer over his head at the phone.

"I know," he bit back archly.

"You don't even have a cell phone, do you?" She demanded, taking the phone from him.

He scowled darkly at her and reached for the phone again. "I do."

"Is it a flip phone?" She demanded, once more wrapping herself around him like a mink stole. "It's it a flip phone, isn't it?"

When he said nothing, sullenly struggling to navigate the device, Selina chuckled again. "Oh, Eddie…you're so old."

He shrugged her off stubbornly and continued to struggle with the phone.

Easing onto the bed, draping herself half off of it, her head dangling upside down over the edge, Selina idly hummed as he struggled.

After a moment, she asked, "did you find the call log yet?"

He scowled darkly.

A cat jumped up onto the bed with her and Selina's eyes lit up as she sat up to properly greet her new friend.

"Last call," Edward announced after a moment. "2:15 AM three days ago from Dani."

"Dani with an 'I' or 'Y'?" Selina demanded.

"An 'I'."

"Girl…some friend of hers calling at 2 in the morning…? Interesting."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning either Dani got dumped or she's in real bad trouble."

"Of course," Edward retorted dryly.

"No, Eddie, teenage girls are actually pretty respectful of each other's sleep."

"Doesn't sound like Mae was the kind of girl with a curfew."

"No," Selina replied, "but she was home when the call came in."

"Maybe Mae was the one dumped?" Edward demanded. "You're not the authority on teenage girls, you know!"

Selina grinned at her kitty friend. "Am I getting to you, Ed?"

He frowned and continued to explore the phone, his sharp intellect allowing him to pick up on how to use it faster than most.

Getting up from the bed, Selina approached him with the cat in her arms and hovered.

"Can't stand not being the smart one, huh?" She went on playfully.

Edward ignored her, still searching the phone sullenly.

Burying her face in the cat's fur, Selina inhaled deeply and smiled as she raised her head.

"Mae's not the type of girl we were expecting," she said a little softer. "I think Gotham believes her to be some wasted party girl, but…Eddie, she's still just a kid."

"Which means what?"

"It means out there somewhere is a scared little girl who needs our help," she stated. "So swallow your pride and just trust me a little. I'm not trying to butt in on your business, I just want to help."

After another stubborn minute, Edward sighed and held the phone out to her. "She has a slip-shod contacts list. No addresses only phone numbers. Think you can find me something I missed?"

Setting the cat down gently, Selina took the phone and smiled. "I'll do my best. Why don't you look around?"

He stood up and nodded. Moving about the bedroom while Selina frittered away on the cell phone.

"And I'm not old," he spat a little bitterly as he opened one of her dresser drawers. "We're about the same age."

"Really?" She teased. "I thought you were way older than me."

"Maybe in some other parallel universe you're much younger than me, my dear, but here in our universe you're an ancient relic of the Reagan era just like me."

Selina actually laughed a soft, peculiarly merry sound, which distracted him from his searching and he turned to her.

"Cute, Ed." She pointed out.

"I didn't think you were capable of laughing," he murmured.

"I didn't think you had a personality before," she teased.

Edward tsked at her and returned to his digging.

"Here," Selina said. "Her email is on her phone."

"Anything interesting?"

"Spam folder is full of shoe sales, looks like she's her mother's daughter. Nothing in the junk folder, inbox is clean."

"Useless."

"No, I didn't say that. She has a whole folder called 'Dani'."

"And who is Dani?"

"From the looks of it, they went to school together…this email is talking about the graduation. Dani must be younger than Mae, she's still in school from the sounds."

"Anything on this Bo-Rude character?" Edward demanded.

"Gosh, Eddie," Selina breathed. "Sounds like you don't like him much!"

"I don't, because every time I must refer to him as 'Bo-Rude' I lose IQ points." He replied.

"You sound like her father, Ed."

"I sound nothing like Fugate, thank you," he snapped coolly.

"Hey girl," Selina read one of the emails, "did you do Club 8-0-8 yet? Hit me for next Saturday."

"Ugh, clubs," Edward growled.

"Okay, grandpa," Selina exclaimed as she followed the path of the conversation in the email. "Went yesterday, it was the tits. Bo wants to do Jump Wednesday night, you in?"

"It was the tits? Is that good or bad? And what's Jump? Some kind of…teenager thing?" The Riddler demanded, turning around to face Selina.

She pushed her breasts out a little, arching her back and quirked a brow. "What do you think, Eddie? Good or bad?"

Knowing she just wanted the attention, he turned back to the dresser.

"Jump is a club, opened on the East side last month, I heard it's nice inside."

"Overpriced drinks, loud noise they call music, shallow people doing bad imitations of the fine art of dancing, sounds like a great time."

"Are you sure we're the same age, Ed?"

"Quite sure."

"Well, if anything, we know this Bo-Rude should be at Jump tonight, so…we can at least track him down for questioning," Selina said. "I'll keep going through the emails though."

"We'll ask Judge Bayer if she'll allow us to take the cell phone with us."

When Selina didn't respond, he glanced up from his study of the contents of the bottom drawer of the dresser and found her gazing at a photo on the screen of the computer. It showed what Eddie assumed was Mae with a blonde haired girl, both of them beaming ear to ear in front of what looked like a ski-lift.

"She's cute," Selina whispered.

"We'll find her," he assured the woman, moving to stand behind her, eyes also on the duo.

"Let's be realistic, Ed," she stated. "The girl is either dead or never coming home."

"There's no sign of violence here, Selina," he pointed out. "And if her phone is here, this is where she was last. She'll be found."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"A while ago you were the positive one, what happened?"

Selina looked over and up at him. "I remembered the world outside these walls is a dangerous hell hole."

Reaching over, he turned the screen off on the computer and said, "use the cell phone, try to get a hold of Dani. Let's see if we can find something out from her."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the expert on teenage girls." He remarked.


End file.
